I hate trying to figure out what to write

So the solution is random crap, I suppose;

Stimulus money to save Savannah-Chatham teaching jobs

They forgot to include in the headline "for ONE YEAR ONLY."

Suspension Shocks Patrick

Ex-Jenkins star and current Cards tight end Ben Patrick tests positive for Adderall and is suspended four games next NFL season. He says he only took one pill from a friend to stay away while driving late at night. I have met Ben and believe him, but many folks won't, assuming that "one pill from a friend" is akin to "I did not have sex with that woman", Jude Law saying "I do", and Tom Cruise coming out of the closet to let us know that Prozac is a-okay.

FDA says Zicam nasal spray can cause loss of smell

Well, there goes my grand idea to become a billionaire building subdivisions near paper mills and powering them with cow patties.

Cats: Not as clever as we think

Wait a minute. I could have sworn that eating EVERYTHING off the floor, including their own hairballs, then licking the bathtub dry or drinking from the toilet instead of the water bowl was part of the Mensa exam! And taking a crap in FRONT of the litter box rather than in it, then having litter mate sister cat immediately take a crap on the floor on the opposite side of the house was some sort of feline feng shui, or Poop Shui. Say it ain't so, scientists!